Context-Free Game Quotes! 2023

5-21-23, Traveller

“Smitchy with the Verm!”

“You’re not getting any anesthetic next time either!”

“Um, what the fuck is the doctor doing?”
“… collecting supplies.”
“Well, if I ever catch a cold, that doctor does NOT see me.”

5-20-23, GenCon Game Pick Meeting

“Don’t throw your brother in the fire.”

5-19-23, BDC

“I don’t like haughty evil elbows.”

“We’re from Sternhaven and we’re here to help!”

“He’s not a burn-scarred swarf, he’s an ugly cabin boy!”

“In every barrel, a little bit of wizard pee.”

5-12-23, Strange Aeons

“Kiss my acid!”

PC1: “Ok, I move to here…”
PC2: “Um, that’s a giant pool of acid.”
PC1: “Oh shit!”

“I’m never coming back to what you’ve done to my hair.”

“Between the tentacle and the plumb-bob, we’ve got a tiny ranged powerhouse here!”

“I may be in tune with the undead, but that doesn’t mean I want to join them.”

“I’m definitely increasing diplomacy by the maximum amount.”

5-7-23, A TEAM, Wrath of the Righteous

PC1: “Do you want to Dimension Door with me behind those apocalypse locusts?”
PC2: “No.”

“I’m not accusing him of extraordinary bravery, but can we get Message on him?”

4-20-23, B TEAM, War of the Burning Sky

Monk PC: “I relish every opportunity to do an Acrobatics roll!”
DM: “Your monk is now difficult terrain.”

“Monkeys kind of… freak me out.”

“It’s like running through a cold shower that might kill you.”

4-14-23, Age of Ages Finale

“Someone in front of me is going to have to die.”

4-9-23, B TEAM: War of the Burning Sky

DM: “The water here is quite a bit warmer…”
PC to nearby PC: “Sorry.”

4-7-23, BDC

PC1: “I hope our cleric with the high AC shows up…”
Cleric: “Yeah, me too!”

“I’m going to shoot #2 then back up around the corner.”

PC1: “Pills and booze – I told you! A winning combination. Jimi Hendrix loved it!”
PC2: “Why is that in past tense?”

“Excuuuse me, while I miss this guy…”
[air guitar]

“I’m cutting the grass, baby!”

“Hey everyone, no one’s clogging the hole!”

PC1: “Wow, something useful!”
PC2: “Hooray, the Summoner’s here!”

“Welcome to Troll School! Let’s talk about fire…”

DM: “You can think that all you want.”
PC: “No I can’t.”

“Whack everybody you can reach!”

PC1: “I can’t imagine tracing a big snake would be that difficult.”
PC2: “That’s what she said.”

“Ten out of ten paladins of Iomedae say she’s the best!”

“Hooray, the buckler’s here!”

“Welcome to the club! [pause] “The club of disappointment.”

“So… we can replace Shepherd with a non-magical piece of wood?”

4-2-23, Wrath Of The Righteous

“At some point, we’re going to have to get ourselves a caravan.”

“Mama didn’t raise no stupid caravan guards.”

DM: “Are you permanently Enlarged?”
P: “Semi Enlarged.”

“We specialize in weird and pissed off.”

“Say the ‘D-word’ one more time and I’ll kill you.”

“Wait up, you dicks!”

4-1-23, Big Muddy Game Day

“Ninja don’t care.”

“Cart guy? He’s confused.”

“Every time one of those guys goes to the bathroom, he’s not coming back.”

3-31-23, Strange Aeons

“I had bad luck all my life, until I met Elib.”

“Something scratchy this way comes.”

“Last time Elib did something like this, it took me a week to get my hair right.”

“I’m disabled.”

“Kiss my Acid Splash!”

3-26-23, Quarantine With The Classics

“By Crom’s codpiece, where are the stairs??”

“Whack me one to enrage me further!”

“I remember Giblets.”

3-24-23, Age of Ashes

PC1: “He’s so mad, he can see in the dark!”
PC2: “I can already see in the dark! I’m all natural!”

“Pardon my fake profanity.”

“We’re kind of done with those ‘Damien’ mom’ jokes, aren’t we?”
“They are getting old… like Damien’s mom!”

“I almost Color Sprayed myself from laughing so hard!”

“The ‘sudden withdrawal’ is a strategy that Damien’s mom used to recommend!”

“You’ve removed Dahak’s taint!”

“You step into a lovely open field… like the Windows 95 screen saver.”

3-19-23, Traveller

Space Doordash: “I’ve got your nuggets” [pause] “It’s not a euphemism.”

Bishop: “I have a question… for Weber.”
Weber: “I’m not really seeing anyone right now, so we can discuss it.”

“One doesn’t usually hear the words ‘concealed’ and ‘shotgun’ in the same sentence.”

“I have a plan!” [pause] “It’s not a *viable* plan, but it’s a plan!”

“I surround the felons with coffee, so the dogs can’t smell them.”

3-10-23, Age of Ashes

“I get knocked prone! But I get up again…”

“I’m Rick James, bitch!”

PC1: “Is Castiel Inspiring?”
PC2: “Well, he’s no Mother Teresa, but he’s trying.”

“It’s not like me to be wrong…”

3-5-23, A Team

“We’re starting a new book: Things That Heralds Are Not Allowed To Do. Page 1: We do NOT make DEALS with DEMONS!”

“Page two: we do not talk that lawful neutral ‘balance’ bullshit.”

“I love the smell of righteousness in the morning.”

“Not more other people’s birds!”

“Feel my Goddess and BURN!”

“Remember when we used to be afraid of vrocks?”

2-19-23, Traveller

“I’m going to the little aliens room.”

“I had to fake my own death over that Bobby McFerrin CD!”

“Let he who has never had a second personality template embedded in their head cast the first stone.”

PC1: “I don’t like the term “inevitable gunplay’.”
PC2: “I’m working on how I phrase things.

2-12-23, B Team

“We’ve got an angry box over here!”

“Ono is horrified by the undead. He’s a lawful good teenager!”

2-10-23, Age of Ashes

“If the Invocation was easy, they’d call it ‘Damien’s Mom’.”

PC1: “You’re awfully quiet, Steve.”
PC2: “He’s not on yet.”

“PC1: “We suddenly know how to speak ‘beaver’.”
PC2: “Are we still doing phrasing?”

2-4-23, A Team

PC1: “We’re either going to TPK here, or we’re going to win this.”
PC2: “That’s the spirit!”

“All I heard was ‘full frontal’ and 100% for that.”

“Being the Herald is like being the Chief Busboy of Iomedae.”

“Have you heard the Bad News?”

2-2-23, BDC

[At full volume] “Approach stealthily!”

“A buckler is just the right size to hold the perfect amount of nachos.”

“Those orcs are going to have to re-draw for Secret Santa.”

“Oh good – Desna bread! And look: more Desna bread.”

Peaches’ gift to Jarlebank, with a caution

1-28-23, QwtCs

“I am going to participate in this kerfuffle.”

“The ‘deadly dildoes’ never leave a behind!”
“Fill that gap!”

PC: “Helios, are you going to shit in that box?”
Centaur PC: “Of course!”

1-27-23, Strange Aeons

“Withholding a potion is a full round action.”

“Irish is not a race!”

“Compared to a country? Twelve is nothing.”

“Why are you looking at her ass?
“HIS! His ass!”
“I’m not homophobic, but that’s just gross.”
“Hey! I’ve had a colonoscopy!”
“I’m too young to know if I’m gay or not.”

DM: “It looks like they’ve been using this room as a larder.”
PC: “Or food storage.”
DM: “That too.”

“Fine! I’ll burst! But quit getting hurt!”

1-20-23, BDC

PC1: “She sucks!”
PC2: “Hey! I used to be a professional.”

“Three half-elves? That’s an elf and a half.”

“You know… my boys need a mansion.”

1-16-23, A Team

“Stop cheating, bald man!”

“Paladin pee is NOT Holy Water!”

“I don’t *have* a bag.”

1-15-23, QwtCs

“Drow don’t surf.”

“Jizz nerd?”
“The glasses protect you!”

1-13-22, BDC

“I’m not the maneuvering type.”

“We just came close to starting a family!”

PC1: “I’ve got 50 feet of string.”
PC2: “For what? Remembering things?”

“Carrying the dwarf is like carrying a giant piece of bacon.”

PC1: “Hurry! I need someone to pee on me!”
All other PCs: “Me!” I’ll do it!” “No, me!”

“I used to be in the Mandible Militia, but now I’m in the Anti-Wyvern Defense Force.”

PC1: “Where’s that wizard with the knock spell?”
PC2: “He’s under the wyvern!”

PC1, looking at the dead body of wizard: “Welp, there goes our knock spell.”

1-8-23, B Team

PC1: “It looks like a family.”
PC2: “We kill them!”

“The C in Cookie is also the C in Consent.”

“I fully support his desire to boot people in the head.”

PC1: “Now we’ve created a *murderous* alcoholic!”
PC2: “Our job here is done.”

“Hi everyone, I’m your OSHA representative: do NOT listen to the bald man!”

1-5-23, Age of Ashes

PC1: “Well, uh, I’m not good…”
PC2: “You’re not even decent!”
PC1: “That’s it, when we get back to town I’m going to bang your mom.”
PC3: “Get in line!”

PC1: “Welcome to the town of Damien’s Mom!”
PC2: “It’s always open.”

“If a murder goes unwitnessed, it is even a murder?”

“Plot twist, motherfuckers!”

“He’s prejudiced, all half-elves look the same to him.”

1-1-23, BGP Meeting

“Perthius is no more evil than Hitler.”