Context Free Game Quotes: 2025!
Quotes from before! 2024 | 2023 | 2022 | Olden Days
10-1-25, Archon
“So hey, part the waters like Moses for Saint Timmy.”
“It’s the cavern version of an Olive Garden.”
“I took your front door and then spit on your house. THAT’S what just happened.”
“So, if it’s a minor elemental… does that mean it’s a child?”
“For the sake of brevity, you’re still a human boy.”
“I’m a ‘yes, and’ GM.” [pause] “I’m going to say no to that.”
“But Timmy’s got that dog in him, so he runs faster on all fours.”
after handing off a phone:
PC1: “I’m going to text him to let him know you have his phone.”
PC2: “You’re going to text HIM to let him know that I have his phone?”
PC1: “Yes! I’m going to text him that you have his phone.”
PC2: “You’re going to text him HIM that *I* have his phone??”
realization hits
“You’re 17 years old – why do you need a gun still?”
“He calls his penis ‘Mr. Honeybadger’.”
“His name was Hans Gruber!”
9-26-25, Strange Aeons
“We don’t call him ‘Napalm’ for nothing.”
9-21-25, War of the Burning Sky
PC1: “Are we going to kill her?”
PC2: “I haven’t decided yet.”
“1234 1234 1234 SWITCH!”
9-21-25 Big Muddy East
“Kosher’s got nothing to do with it.:
“That’s one of the benefits – when you completely whiff, you have a chance of hitting something important.”
“”You’re finally in a place where it’s ok to run awawy.”
9-7-25, War of the Burning Sky
“Glitter and fire do not mix.”
“Tortured screams, flames, chaos? Business as usual.”
9-5-25, Strange Aeons
“Even in death, we can feel our buttholes.”
8-31-25, Wrath of the Righteous FINALE
PC1: “It’s soooo curved…”
PC2: “How curved is it?”
PC1: “You know Bill Clinton?”
PC1: “Hey, 11 o’clock, tiny little invisible thing…”
PC2: “Is it Gato?”
PC1: “He’s hot-swapping demon ladies!”
PC2: “NO I’M NOT!”
“In the next campaign, I’m coming back as that spell.”
(note: spell was Angelic Aspect)
7-31-25 — 8-3-25, GENCON
“It tastes like a shoe store smells.”
“We’re not in the sex business, we’re in the death business!”
“What are the semaphore flags for ‘you suck’?”
“You turned me into a cripple!”
“Say…. you ever see ‘Roadhouse’?”
“It’s the wrath of Roth!”
“In my liturgical opinion, his liver is missing.”
“The Yale man corroborates the story.”
“I hide behind my convenient tree.”
“It’s not facing terrible entities that’s troubling you, it’s the long walk?”
“As a Yale man, I might be able to communicate with them.”
“In my medical opinion, it’s probably menstrual.”
“My decision on this is that I’m going to let you guys decide.”
“The Lord really hasn’t been on your side lately, has he?”
“Do better, Allen!”
“Johan, did you attack recklessly?”
“No I did not.”
“I’m only slingin’ insults.”
“Who do you look like more, you or your sister?”
“We’re twins.”
“I’m like a normal doctor – I didn’t need anything.”
“Let me do my job!”
“Your camper is over there.”
(pointing in the opposite direction of the actual camper)
“Who stays up at night thinking of a role that would equate to shooting someone’s dick off?”
7-27-25, Quarantine With The Classics FINALE
“Forty-two years ago, Disintegrate WORKED!”
7-25-25, Strange Aeons
“Oh no he’s hottttttttt…”
DM: “Are you proficient in ballista?”
PC1: “I’m proficient in lever-pulling.”
PC2: “He’s proficient in pulling a shaft1”
Everyone: “SHAFT PULLER!”
“SNEAK ATTACK!”
“100% Success rate!”
7-19-25, D&D Pool Party: JARTs Edition
“He’s making a moderate comeback!”
“You can’t out-reference me.”
“WILL YOU SHUT UP??”
7-13-25, War of the Burning Sky
“Want to aggressively bring her to justice.”
DM: “You suspect you’re too high to be smelled…”
Flying PC: “That’s definitely what I would suspect if I was high.”
“Only rich people get ventilation.”
“Have you even seen the movie RING?”
PC: “Hey Ono! HIT THAT DUDE!”
PC2: “It’s a war, kid! We’re outnumbered!”
Ono: “Sorry, sorry…”
“A mage has got to do what a mage has got to do.”
7-7-25, Rise of the Runelords
“We don’t have ‘Power Word: Nuke’.”
DM: “Can your snake fly?”
PC: “Depends on how hard I throw it.”
7-6-25, Wrath of the Righteous
“I’m creating a cleric spell called ‘Brain Bleach’.”
“Mouth to mouth doesn’t include tongue!”
“It does it if you do it right.”
7-5-25, Tomb of Horrors!
DM: “Is that a euphemism?”
PC: “It could be!”
“The lich is twiddling his thumbs!”
“Hey Storm, touch that pillar.”
“WWDD: What Would Duffy Do?”
“Get behind me, you fool!”
Surreptitious DM: “”I say Storm should pick up the gem.”
PC: “That sounded like Duffy!”
6-29-25, Tomb of Horrors!
“I can get familiar with that chicken…”
[pause]
“Oh, you mean like a pet.”
Centaur PC: “I’m not fat, I’m big boned!”
“I want to retrieve my rod…”
6-27-25, Strange Aeons
“I want it to be straight! THIS IS PRIDE MONTH!”
6-23-25, Tomb of Horrors!
“If there’s sorcery, I’ll stab it!”
“If I poke my pole in there…”
“We probably should clear the room before I release the gas.”
“Put your large proboscis into this hole.”
“At this point, I’m willing to do a vandalism.”
6-23-25, Big Muddy EAST
“Look, I’ve given you TWO trucks that can loot with no problem.”
“Let’s not drive on the road directly underneath the Hind helicopter, ok?”
6-16-25, Wrath of the Righteous
Oh, hey, they were flying! They could be easily be coming this way.”
PC1: “Lots of dead bodies?”
PC2: “Yeah, we’ve been here before.”
“That was like the fifth least weird thing that has happened to us.”
“I just assumed it was, you know, an evil armadillo.”
“Demons, generally speaking, go commando.”
6-6-25 through 6-8-25, DieCon
“That’s a Dick Van Dyke move.”
“Wish.com is ninth level, so it’s got a long casting time.”
“Timmy, your body is incredible!”
“We. Are. Twelve.”
“This is fantasy – everyone’s got a dagger.”
“I’m shooting from the hip here. I’m a human with a Dwarven ancestral axe.”
[speaking with ancestors connected to his hammer]
PC: “Dear great grandpa, how do I make this look cool?
DM: “You can’t.”
[rolling initiative]
PC: “I’m a four.”
PC2: “OH you’re higher than a four, you can give yourself a bit more credit.”
“You say 69, I say 68 and I owe you one.:
“You don’t have the neutral odor background option.”
“Alright, I’ll attack the fucking God.”
“Go full banana. Always.”
“So, who’s going to urinate on the magic candle?”
“You self medicate. I’ll drive.”
“Full speed to the ACE HOLE SPACE STATION!”
“Monkeyspanks is dancing at the Blue Oyster.”
PC: “Mafia…”
Random music: “dundunDUUUUN”
“We’re gonna go down the Hershey Highway and rob the Ace Hole.”
“You walk in and say ‘Hey, who’s the local mob boss’?”
“I’m a marksman, I don’t deal with construction.”
“I won’t take a no from someone who can’t give me a yes.”
6-2-25, Rise of the Runelords
“It’s Spanish for ‘French’.”
“This is my favored terrain – I LOVE stairs!”
“I put the ‘dumb’ in wisdom.”
DM: “And your Charisma is what?”
PC: “Good enough.”
“I don’t miss.” [rolls dice] “DAMMIT I ROLLED A ONE!”
6-1-25, Wrath of the Righteous
“THAT is a classic T-Bone maneuver!”
“I could have had a 3d8.”
“New buddy cop show: ‘T-Bone and the Construct’.”
“Ehhh to hell with the giant cockroach.”
“He’s got a little stinger envy.”
5-30-25, Strange Aeons
“Only a true goblin would deny their goblinity!”
“You cannot insult kickball at ALL!”
PC1: “What would a dancing vagina look like?”
PC2: “I’m sure there’s porn for it.”
PC3 [singsong] “Vagina, dentata, for the rest of your days…”
PC4: “Great song!”
5-26-25, Quarantine With The Classics: Tomb of Horrors!
“We’re running out of gargoyle!”
“… a mayonnaise-based trap?”
5-23-25, Seas of Consequence
“Classic Loose Cork Munie!”
[planning a heist]
PC1: “Do you guys think-“
PC2: “No.”
“He’s climbed those bitches for hours.”
DM: “Atalanta, what is your AC?”
Not Atalanta: “My AC is a cool 67 degrees.”
DM, setting the scene: “Far off on the sea, you can see flashes of lightning arcing across the sky…”
Ad from PC’s phone: “HEY! What are you doing?”
DM: “I’m fucking talking here, that’s what I’m doing!”
PC after extensive discussion on how to get through a barred courtyard. “Actually… I have Misty Step.”
PC2: “Do you also Misty Step inside the courtyard?”
PC3: “I don’t have Misty Step.”
PC2: “I dunno, PC1 forget he had it!”
“It stroked my Brooch ad butthole.”
“It’s the crew of the bi-monthly cockatoo y’all…”
5-19-25, Rise of the Runelords
“Well, I can speed it’s life up to death…?”
“Lemme borrow your leg – I wanna beat someone to death with it.”
PC: “Hey DM, this is also my favorite terrain.”
DM: “Oh yeah? What’s your favorite terrain?”
PC: [looking at blank map on Roll20] “… white square?”
5-18-25, Wrath of the Righteous
“Stop opening doors!”
“That was very ‘Caine Mutiny’ of you.”
“Wait – don’t I get ‘I’m-rubber-and-you’re-glue’ powers by being Herald of Iomedae??”
5-16-25, Deadlands: No Thanks I’m Stuffed
DM: “So… you have a gun, and a dude…”
PC: “I’m living my best life.”
5-11-25, War of the Burning Sky
PC1: “We don’t keep him around for his smarts – we keep him around because he’s pretty.”
PC2: “Your mom said the same thing.”
5-9-25, Strange Aeons
“Is that a tub of lichen or are you just glad to see me?”
“There could conceivably be an occasion to use you as an improvised weapon.”
PC1: “The forest was on fire and it’s not our fault!”
PC2: “Yeah! Just because we have a sentient fireball with us, doesn’t mean it was us!”
“Yeah, do the accent, bitch!”
“They fly now?”
“Yeah, they fly.”
DM: “He’s wrapped entirely in thorny vines…”
PC1: [pause] “Hot.”
PC2: “Me so thorrrney.”
“I can’t see, so I can’t hear your consent.”
4-27-25, Tomb of Horrors!
“I’m just buying a 10-foot pole.”
“It’s just the right amount of cheating.”
“Any hole is a goal.”
“Looks like we’re going to need a bigger familiar.”
“I was raised by spiders – this is not magic at all.”
“Chocolate or poison – it’s one of those.”
“It’s a cautionary weasel tail.”
“NO WANT, ONLY DO!”
“So… happy coincidence! You never know when you’ll need a vat of horse lube.”
PC, referring to gargoyle: “That guy has a real heart of stone.”
Everyone: [groans]
DM: “Anymore puns like that and this game is over.”
4-25-25, Strange Aeons
“Make the Dreamlands Great Again.”
“When I pass you guys a level, a dwarf with a tentacle gets her wings.”
So, Justice Day… what a horrible decision that was.”
4-19-25, Seas of Consequence
DM: “Do any of you have a background in teleportation?”
PC: “I don’t even know how I got here.”
“If I were trying to find some long lost relative of yours or something, it’d be a real shame if I shanked him.”
“Why is this fish so short?”
“I can lock in for racism!”
[Aristocratic British accent] “FUCK IT, WE BALL!”
DM: “Are you a certified boat captain?”
PC: “Not yet. I don’t have a boat.”
“You know, for a bunch of lawless pirates, we really are sticklers for legal documentation.”
4-14-25, Rise of the Runelords
DM: “You see a winged creature. It’ll be here in about four rounds.”
PC: “It’ll be here in about two weeks.”
“Zelda will not see the dark evil acts that occur in this house.”
4-13-25, War of the Burning Sky
“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Ono.”
“Hey! Get off my roof, kid!”
“Don’t worry about the rules – just do some Arandar shit!”
4-4-25, No Thanks, I’m Stuffed
“I’m here to make everyone’s lives more easy for me.”
“At the mention of Zeke Ritter….”
[BOOOOONG]
“I can’t believe Doc Holliday went full Boo-Boo on me!”
“You know how breathers are: in, out, in, out, all day long. It’s disgusting!”
“One of the first things we’re going to do when we get to Cheyenne is change your name to ‘Alberta’.”
“I’m not saying we have to take it over, but we don’t necessarily have to burn it down.”
“Possession is TEN tenths of the law!”
4-1-25, Seas of Consequence
PC: “My gills are on fire!”
DM, who constantly asks about gills: “Your WHAT??”
3-30-35, Adepticon
PC: “So there’s no safe space?”
DM: “No! It’s the Wild West, baby!”
“You can’t reload a dropped gun.”
“Carriers, shmarriers!”
“Can you ram in this game?”
“Hell yeah you can ram in this game!”
3-23-25, Quarantine With The Classics
“Working these days is like the 80s.”
“I’m miffed!”
“Now he’s enraged AND engorged!”
“No one told me about her… bonuses!”
3-21-25, Strange Aeons
DM: “Discretion is a watchword among the nobility.”
PC: ” They have picked the right guys for the job!”
“I’m appalled that you guys think that Fireball is the answer to everything.”
“Did Little Timmy fall in the web??”
“It’s a Cockney hiss!”
3-2-25, Wrath of the Righteous
“Torches don’t have stealth.”
“You act like this is the first time that Fletcher has had a maggot bath.”
“Everything is bitable… if you commit.”
“Your sword’s changed sides!”
“This is what happens when you Vicious Mockery your own weapon.”
2-28-25, Strange Aeons
“Who wants to dance? [pause] Who can dance?”
“Aristocratic vampire?? We’re fucked!”
“Can I roll a Climb check for the social ladder?”
2-23-25, Quarantine with the Classics
“It was one of Wolf’s old loincloths!”
“Erect again!”
“It’s a traditional greeting of the centaur race.”
“You’re talking ‘recon by Eldritch Blast’.”
“Wisdom save? That’s my strength.”
“Did you say that was a ‘turn on’? [pause] I thought I was the only one.”
2-21-25, BDC
“I don’t know where your back is!”
2-19-25, Seas of Consequence
“RIP Winston Churchill. He would’ve loved gills.”
“It’s called ‘dragonade.’ Gators don’t exist.”
“This conversation would not fly in my good Christian Minecraft server.”
“So thin. So manatee.”
PC1: “Can you make a Saltmarsh omelet?”
PC2: “Are you sure you want that?”
2-9-25, War of the Burning Sky
“Ono forgot the name of his monastery.”
“Hey, there’s a chick for you to slap in here, so warm up your pimp hand!”
“I do NOT want a shirt that says ‘Warm Up Your Pimp Hand’.”
“Full attack! And stop that non-lethal bullshit!”
“It’s a tickle missile!”
2-2-25, Wrath of the Righteous
“So, I’ll wait until Illendar comes of out his dragon’s ass.”
“There will be NO deals!”
“He’s mistaken if he thinks I listen to him.”
1-31-25, Age of Extinction
DM: “You see your worst fears…”
PC: “Oh God! COMMITTMENT!”
“I stick dead people.”
PC: “I have a normal whip. Why wouldn’t I use this?”
DM: “Because it’d look stupid.”
1-26-25, Quarantine with the Classics
“I thought I had some privacy here!”
DM: “You hear a hoarse whisper…”
Centaur PC: “I didn’t whisper!”
“I’m just trying to bring people together.”
“I don’t need hitpoints!”
1-24-25, Strange Aeons
“We have failed as a society when the androids become furries.”
“This is a strangely boring place.”
“Should we go in naked?”
“I gotta get better friends.”
1-19-25, Wrath of the Righteous
“I was about to do that.”
“You don’t have a Summoner book!””
“Apparently, I need to write one.”
1-18-25, Seas of Consequence
“The brothel here is called ‘Beef’.”
“Lamonta’s about to Wild Shape into a fucking problem.”
1-17-25, BDC
“Neutral Good? They’re NEVER going to see their parents!”
“The ranger doesn’t want to ride in the wagon like some pantywaist.”
“The legend of the two wagons.”
1-12-25, Abomination Vaults
“In the ’80’s, every mall had a Big Worm in it. They were usually next to Chess King.”
“Some people just like to watch.”
“We like to think of them as breadcrumbs of destruction.”
GM: “So Kevin’s a 10?”
Player: “In my book, anyway.”
“That’s my Resting Rage face.”
“And on the level right below the Big Worm, we’ll probably find a B. Dalton.”
“Luckily, I’ve already had the Ghoul Vaccine!”
“I’ve always been terrified of being prone and Grappled!”
“2 Ghouls and a Cultist walk into a bar.”
“And the bartender says, ‘Why the long face?'”
“Fortunately they use the Dwarven Decimal System.”
“It’s a Shooty, Don!”
1-12-25, War of the Burning Sky
GM: “He’s unconscious, and Webbed, and upset.”
PC: “That’s the way I like it.”
“If I had Charisma and Intimidate, these guys would be fucked!”
1-5-25, Wrath of the Righteous
“I love the smell of burning demons in the morning.”
“Gato’s my attorney! ‘Slippin’ Gato’.”
“I just want to touch Fletcher.”
