Quotes Repository | that's "RE"-pository you nitwit

Date Quote
4-25-03 Heather: "I'm going down." Bob: "There were a lot of guys in high school that wanted to hear that."

Devin: "Five ones - that's 1 in 3, 200,000."

4-4-03 Les: "Take 4 points 'crick' damage!"

Les: "Anyone else get hurt sleeping?"

Mack: "There's nothing worse than drow farts."

Mack: "Power Word: Kablammo!"

Don: "Oh god! I've lost the shit!"

Don: "You're not expendable, exactly - I just wish you were dead."

Steve: "You've killed Ashrem! You bastards!"

Devin: "Hey - be ready to kill me." Steve: "I always am."

Don: "I'm better at listening!" Mack: "How could you be worse?"

Mack: "Hey - they don't call it Dungeons and Kobolds!"

3-14-03 Bob: "The Bard is here." Don: "No party has ever said, 'Oh, good! The Bard is here!'"

Devin: "It says here we have to consult GM on this before we can use it." Steve: "And they're all the way in Detroit!"

Steve: "A ball of flame, you say? Now what spell could that be…"

Bob: "You all do see some arrows start to come flying at you." Devin: "Do they appear to be very well shot?"

Steve: "Do something drow!"

Doug: "Well, at least I died on my own terms."

Mack: "…and I'm invisible! And I'm bulletproof! And I kill them all!"

Devin: "I got your back, brother!"

Skip: "I assume that Heian is running away...?" Don: "No! I'm scouting ahead!"

Devin: "I'm tackling his legs! That's how elves tackle people."

Steve: "Doesn't he get some minuses for being all dead and everything?"

Devin: "How many rocks can there be in the cave?"

3-7-03 Mack: to Heather: "You want a man with a SLOW mage hand." 

Les: "He still owes me from all those times I brought him back from the dead." Mack: "And now, you've brought him back from the dumb!" 

Mack: "This is like the Dealy Plaza of the campaign." 

Steve: "I hope I'm "Dumb" at least." 

Les: "Hey! Save it for Arena night!" 

Devin: "How about a Cudgel of Mind Control?" Bob: "I hit you in the head, you do what I want!" 

Skip: "It sounds like a door." 

Bob: " A pool dominates the room." Devin: "A poodle??" 

Mack: "You see a large, bell-shaped area." 

Mack: "Man, his god sucks!"

2-21-03 Heather: "Do we need to clear the board?" Steve: "Nah, Bob'll take care of that."

Heather: "It's a monkey-dragon!"

Skip: "So, Devin, you've killed a monkey and a bear so far." Devin: "And I've still got two lightning bolts left." Steve: "He's going after a raccoon next, to complete the set."

2-7-03 Steve: "Now Devin can squat and blast at the same time."

Steve: "I guess I shouldn't have rubbed those balloons on my head before casting that."

Don: "Steve! Stop being helpful!"

Bob: "Well, he's basically been beaten senseless in a quiet environment."

Devin: "I lash out with happiness."

Mack: "OK - everyone remember where we parked."

Bob: " I'm just sitting here waiting to see what you're going to do, I'm sure it's going to be brilliant..."

Heather: "Am I still in one of these heads?"

Heather: "Mmmmmmm!!"

Steve: "They're Kelly monks!"

1-17-03 Les: "The fate of the party - once again - resides in Devin's hands." Steve (to Bob): "I'm rolling up a new character."

Mack: "What we need a good, old-fashioned, Fascist book burning."

Devin: "Do you think WE work for the Master?"

Mack: "All we're taking with us is salt and liquor."

Devin: "I can kill all of us now - I have FIREBALL!"

1-3-03 Steve: "That feeling of relief that Wiggy had...?" Skip: "Gas."

Les: "We're GOOD with pigs!"

Bob: "Take those M & M's and put them on on top of him."

Mack: "Did you guys know that you can pull this thing's butt out?"

Mack: "Don's guy is going to have to go on a combat diet."

Don: "C'mon! C'mon!! [pause] Ow! Good one."

Doug: "I take out my instrument and try to charm them."

12-6-02 Bob: "I love campaigns this small!"

Mack: "Don is the Brussels of our party - we do all the fighting, he does all the cleanup."

Devin: "He's your liege?" Les: "Yeah." Devin: "That sucks."

Devin: "Where's the love??"

Devin: "Maybe these guys are really great leapers…?"

Steve: "Remember - there is no 'I' in 'Team'."

Devin: "Let's go!"

Don: "More light always helps… to, uh, see things…"

Steve: "Man, that was a buttload of wrath."

Devin: "We could always sell it to someone…?" Don: "Sure - if you have no ethics, no honor!" Devin: "I don't."

Mack: "Praise Dorkus!"

11-15-02 Steve: "My name is Crazy McDeathwish!"

Devin: "I don't trust the cider."

Bob: "Ooh! Boxcars!"

Don: "One night with Wiggy, and I've got crabs."

Steve: "There's 20 first level fighters..." Don: "They're 21st level??"

Mack: "Put on your orc getup...?"

Devin: "What are the odds that I get a 20?" Steve: "Um, 1 in 20."

11-1-02 Don: "I will never understand humans." Steve: "You slants are a barrel of laughs, too."

Guardsman: "For a gold piece, you'll be protected from unsavory sorts..." Steve: [points at Skip] "We bring our own unsavory sorts with us, thanks."

Steve: "It's like a Hooter's!"

Steve: "Hey! That's our best eatin' donkey."

Bob: "Well, there's a humanoid army out there somewhere..." Steve: "Yes, and  then, there's the KISS army..."

10-4-02 Mack: "Devin's been dead so many times that the smell has stayed with him." Doug: "His holy symbol's a little pine tree!"

Heather: "We need some vinegar - we've got some pretty heavy build-up here."

Steve: "I take out my wand."

Devin: "If you die, tell 'em you know me. I'm a regular there." Steve: "Yeah, the afterlife - where everyone knows your name."

Mack: "Any woman that every sleeps with Devon has to make a fortitude check."

Devin: "I want that bow… but I'll wait until you die."

Doug: "The clearest shot I have is against that Santa Clause thing." Devin: "That's me!"

Bob: "Take another three points of damage for not listening!"

Heather: "Plus one ear damage!"

Devin: "Tactics is my strong point."

9-20-02 Steve (to Heather, standing over Don's body): "Now's a good time to get your bow."

Devin: "I want to be one of these... a flaming dwarf!"

Bob: "I can't see what you're doing because I can't see past the s'mores dish."

Steve: "They're going to make an elf-kabob!"

Bob: "You're going to love this one."

Steve: "It's like a mosh pit in there!"

Devin: "Can I move into the room? I won't try to hit anything."

Mack: "Bob, how do you spell 'kablammo'?'

9-6-02 Steve: "We're going to be equipping ourselves at 'Everything's A Goldpiece'."

Mack: "We are the Navy Seals of Greyhawk."

Devin: "Do I have a clean shot at anyone?" Don: "Liad."

Mack: "Does the gauntlet have... six fingers??"

Don: "I think you should give Devin the sack as a helmet."

Steve: "This armor is SO constricting!"

8-16-02 Heather: "Something smells like a wet dragon."

Don: "I think, therefore I fly."

Steve: We always put Skip up on a pedestal." Don: "He's easier to hit that way."

Steve: "Hey! Back it up, buddy - there's enough cleric for all of us."

Steve: "It's a Wiggy-Be-Good stick!"

Bob: "200 gold pieces? That's half a warhorse, you moron." 

Don: "WHERE are my FEET??"

Heather: "It's a woman's bow!" Steve: "Yes, it's curved for her pleasure."

Steve (Devin): "You're more intelligent than I am!" Don: "Yeah, and so's my character."

Steve: "It's pimp-daddy Liad!"

Skip/Heather/Don: "Throw him/it into the sack!"

8-02-02 Steve: "In the past, we've had human barbarians, and Dwarven nobility, and all of us got along…" Don: "Well, they both live the same way."

Steve: "It's Greyhawk's longest suspension bridge!"

Steve: "There's naked chicks EVERYWHERE!"

Bob: "The Dragonteeth with soon be impassible." Les: "Because of winter?" Steve: "That, and construction."

Steve: "I NEED a masterwork backpack!"

Heather: "I've only got a charisma of 9." Devin: "Maybe it's not that you're ugly, maybe you've just got gas."

Devin: "How do I earn tokens to get to the other parts of the city?" Steve: "Alter your DNA."

Heather: "I may be ugly, but I've got moves."

Steve: "Chrono's spellbook even has a foreword by Steven King."

Devin: "So you have to wear a magic ring on your finger for it to work?" Steve: "You could wear it on a chain, but that just means you're promised."

Steve: "What's the name of this module? The 'Vault of Sub-Plots'??"

7-19-02 Tim: "You fell so far down that crevasse your alignment started to change."

Mack: "So what was so big about that?"

Les: "Now I'm officially in ass-kicking mode!" (at which point 3 more foes arrived)

Mack: "Stranger things have happened… tonight!"

Bob: "Devin - you know all those people that were between you and the orcs? They're gone."

Steve: "We're all going to wake up in an orc village." Heather: "Yeah, I'll end up being the orc-whore!"

Mack: "I'm going to take my bread and fashion it into a rudimentary glaive."

7-5-02 Steve: "These guys can smell hit points like blood in the water."

Steve: "This is the second combat I've ended up laying around uselessly… sometimes, I feel like I'm playing the Body in 'Clue'."

Les: "You're a Zen Master of bleeding." Steve: "It's like a prestige class: the Corpse."

Heather: "We eat the goats!" Steve: "We tie them up." Doug: "They can drag something." Bob: "They're just goats."

Doug: "I take a single step into the hut." Bob: "You hear nothing." Doug: "I take a second step into the hut." Les "Roll for initiative!" Steve: "Are you wearing a helmet?"

Steve: "My weasel stays where it's at, thank you very much."

6-21-02 Mack: "Don't make us anesthetize you!" 

Bob: "Minus five experience points for reminding Devin!" 

Steve: By the law of averages, it's gotta work sometime." 

Mack: "I'm still trying to figure out what it is about you that's useful." Steve: "That's all part of the mystique that is me." 

Steve: "We're going to miss out on all the looting!" 

Don: "What second trail?" 

Devin: "Couldn't your god do something??" 

Steve: "You want to be at least… third level, before you take on a god." Mack: "And you want to have a plan, too." 

Don: "It's getting hard to disbelieve that…" 

Devin: "There are guys in the woods with crossbows." Steve: "Yeah, with laser sights, apparently."

6-7-02 Doug: "You better have more credentials than just a bald head!"

Les: "This is starting to sound like dialogue from a gay porn movie."

Doug: "Are we going the right way?" Bob: "Without a doubt, no question, you think you're going the right way."

Don: "I knew of a barbarian who lost his hand… he felt quite worthless."

Don: "I still think they're an illusion!"

Don: "What'd you roll?" Doug: "A one." Don: "That's three in a row!"

5-19-02 Bob: "When you put the torch to him, he goes up pretty quick."

Mack (to Heather): "How are you set for spells?" Heather: "I'm well stacked!"

Steve: "Ex-Paladins always go in the back."

Les: "It was a total loss of pucker-factor." Mack: "Where I come from, we call that a 'containment breach'."

Bob: "Holy CRAP!" Les: "Um, guys, did Bob just say 'holy crap'?"

Mack: "It's an ettin-ette!"

Steve: "…and to our horror, we find that Usoab wears a thong."

Doug: "Salt! Where's the salt!?"

Heather: "There will be NO gnome-tossing, OK??"

Mack: "I knew he should have put you up his butt!"

Devin: "How tough can a dragon be?" Steve: "They get top billing in the game! They don't call it 'Dungeons and Stirges'!"

Steve: "'Dragon'?? We thought you said 'Flagon'!"

Mack: "If anyone makes it out of this alive, I vote that we immediately impeach Don."

Devin: "I'm appalled."

Doug: "What is this… 'fire-amber'?" Devin: "That's wine, you know, for our victory."

4-19-02 Skip: "Whatcha talking bout, Usoab?"

Devin: "You're in the right left corner!"

Don: "What about the Henchmen? Weren't they miners?" Tim: "No, they were minors!" Les: "Yeah, we had to buy their ales back at the inn." Bob: "You lost me."

Bob: "Jade, roll a spot check." Jade: "Four!" Bob: "You guys are never going to find this place!"

Tim: "There's just puke pouring out of nothingness? That's like a bulimic's nightmare!"

Don: "Any of our clerics carry holy water?" Les: "We're not those kind of clerics."

Les: "How do we know these weren't the gnolls we killed?" Steve: "They can't be - these were killed right."

Steve: "Next module!"

Don: "You're in the lead! I'll do it! Get out of the way! I'll open the door!"

Don: "We got two doors - which one?" Les: "Let's go in the one behind us… (silence) um, my map might be a little different from yours."

Bob: "The foot is not evil." Don: "It's the Foot of Vecna!"

Doug: "Never argue with the DM… no matter how wrong he is."

4-5-02 Doug: "I'm a minister, for Chrissakes!"

Don: "..definitely not a Kobold, definitely not a Kobold…"

Heather: "He's not stupid, but he did arrive on the 'short-carriage'."

Mack: "Devin's conducting Detect Evil on his lunch these days." Steve: "Get thee behind me, Sandwich!"

Les: "Once you go gnome, you never go home." Don: "Yeah, you're too ashamed."

Mack: "Hey, what's going on?" Skip: "Buncha lesbians out here having a weenie roast."

3-15-02 Steve: "I heard there was only a 20% chance of evil today!"

Bob: "Are you unconscious? Because if you are unconscious, I need to know that."

Steve: "When I think of combat… I touch myself." Mack: "You know, I always forget how repulsive you guys are."

Bob: "You see four horsemen in the distance…" Mack: "Yeah, this is death, this is pestilence…" Steve: "This is annoyance, and this is flatulence!"

Steve: "I could have had a d8!"

Devin: "Dwarves aren't that cool… [to Skip] no offense."

Mack: "Well, Bob, I think we've effectively slipped out of town…"

Mack: "Guys, I consider this to be acceptable losses."

Don: "We know you're going to make it down, what we don't know is how hard you're going to hit."

2-22-02 Heather "It's like weekend at Bernies!"

Steve: "We hate them for the silent 'G'!"

Heather: "That can't be 'Rastor'-worthy…?"

Bob: "It - obviously - doesn't work."

2/15/02 Bob: "You hear a male scream coming from the boat." Mack: "Well, it can't be the thief, who else is in there?"

Doug: "Damn 501's!"

Steve: "I took a little damage, and I feel like crap!"

Steve: "I tell Alidon that I feel like I've been touched by something unnatural again."

Mack: "Well, we thought that the middle of the night would be the best time to start a flaming inferno."

Lareth: "I get disturbed by people ALL the TIME!"

Bob:"… it is, very obviously, an evil place." Steve: "It's really no more evil than Frank Lloyd Wright's later stuff."

Bob: "23 for initiative - what do you do?" Don: "I hide."

Devin: "Screw the bodies!" Don: "Do we have time?"

Don: "How many are there?" Bob: "A lot. More than you can count."

Steve: "Oh, good! The wagon's still here!"

Doug: "I'm not taking orders from you, Mr. 'I can hit anything with an arrow - including my balls'!"

2/1/02 Devin: "I can't. I'm too slow." 

Doug: "Usaob doesn't know crap." 

Devin: "And they were VERY evil." 

Devin: "Does anyone want to put a couple of arrows in these evil guys as they leave?" 

Steve: "Doug used to be able to detect undead four or five times a night." 

Doug: "I'm warming up the secret handshake." 

Steve: "Dwarf down! Dwarf down!" 

Doug: "Bob, I don't know what you're flashing me." 

Doug: "I got knocked up." 

Steve: "Out of my way! The gnome might need me!" 

Bob: "I get to do what I want. You're the only one left." 

Don: (To Devin) "Duh! We didn't kill it." 

Mac: (To Penumbra who is in the river) "Throw me the idol; I throw you the whip!" 

Steve: "Yeah. Getting cut in half would have been better for me." 

Steve: "You got off easy, lucky bastard." 

Heather: "We'll just lay you over." 

Devin: "Does anyone have a healing thingy?" 

Doug: "Kord, be with me 'cause nobody else is." 

Steve: "Stupid undead." Skip: "Welcome to the club."

1/19/02 Heather: "All I can do is smack you with a stick."

Bob: "What are the odds of that?" Skip: "Well, with you DM'ing…?"

Don: "Do they look kinda… dead?"

Bob: "It's kind of an initiative roll. Kind of."

Steve: "I got a gnome on my back - get her off, get her off!"

Don: "There must be 50 soldiers in that cart!"

Les: "Of course Shaggy was on drugs - c'mon, the little beard…?" Don: "You mean like yours?"

Bob: "Where's Jade?" Steve: "She's back in Hommlet, getting a hot Spoonwar injection."

1/4/02 Steve: "If the armor doesn't fit, you must acquit!

Steve: "Apparently you haven't heard of the infamous 'Hommlet Massacre'."

Mack: "This mission is one thing, but I don't believe for a minute that he's trying to do anything but get in that barmaid's pants."

Don: "Tarp Inspector!"

Steve: "We're gonna party like it's 1499!"

Devin: "I stand watch for a while, and then I fall asleep."

Devin: "Time for me to turn on the ol' Paladin charm!"

Don: "Excuse me. [pause] See how that works?"

Skip: "The last time I tried Animal Friendship, I almost got beheaded by a renegade ferret."

Mack: "Bubbleboy is in the building!"

Devin: "I think we're going to make it, guys!"

Devin: "Hey - what happened to you?" Skip: "No support."

Mack: "Ok, let's all try not to have any gnome sex for the rest of the trip."

12/21/01 Steve: "We'll out-evil 'em!"

Les: "Penumbra got stoned!" Skip: "And the bastard didn't share!" Don: "But now we have our "fake Obelisk…"

Les: "Penumbra was one of the last of the 'Original Party!' Only he and Ulfgar were left." Bob: "And I'll get him in just a minute…"

Skip: "What's the worst that can happen?" Les: "Well, we could all end up in the same grave as Penumbra." Don: "At least we'd have a headstone." Les: "Yep, it'd say 'here lies the stupidest party ever'."

Les: "I hope they were subtle…" Don: "Well, they slew one stableboy."

Les: "How much trouble can we get in sitting in a druid's house cutting up a doppelganger's body?"

11/29/01 Steve: "Once you go dwarf, you never go back."

Steve: "And as you prance around detecting evil, you find that you also have "Detect Redneck" skill…"

Les: "Tim was a very bad paladin." Steve: "But a great assassin!"

Bob: "What armor?" Don: "Hide." Steve: "We wanted to know your armor, not what you do best."

Les: "Does this mean the Mill raid is off??"

Heather: "4." Bob: what was your original roll??" Heather: "5." Mack: "And that was her best option!"

Mack: "I always thought that rescue missions were supposed to have some measure of panache."

Devin: "You just WAIT till my bubble gets over there!"

Steve: "…it's a free-range gelatinous cube!"

Bob: "The guardsmen ask, what would you like to drink?" Steve: "Potion of Cure Serious."

Skip: "Rape, pillage and plunder!" Les: "Rape, pillage and blunder?" Skip: "Plunder." Bob: "Yeah, the blundering is a given."

Heather: "I sense that the lock is trapped." Devin: "I sense that the lock is EVIL!"

11-16-01 Mack: "God, I'm sorry, I thought we'd brought a cleric with us."

Steve: "Fake doors nearly always lead to nothing."

Mack: "C'mon guys, these are wandering monsters! How bad could they be?" Skip: "Yeah - it's a family of werewolves, with a vampire father." Don: "Once again, I take out the old guy!"

Bob: "You feel the ground start to move…" Mack: "What's her name?"

Bob: "You hear a high pitched female scream." Les: "It's not me this time!"

Mack: "Roll for a food check!"

Steve: "… but Bob's favorite wandering monster is still the undead rust monster - you lose levels and armor at the same time!"

Don: "We don't want the meat, we just want the stuff." Les: "You know, this is really our first effort to parley." Bob: "Ant creatures do not listen!"

Doug: "Maybe it mates first, and then eats…?" Mack: "That would explain the initial screaming."

11-2-01 Steve: "I'll follow him, and whip it out when the fight starts."

Bob: "Hey, you remember the earlier discussion, where we talked about if I made the encounters tougher…"

Steve: "…and the occasional appearance of Pachebel's Canon represents wandering monster rolls! The part of the gnolls is represented by the oboe."

Doug: "Hello little kitty, kitty… ai, jeez ya little monster!"

Doug: "Innkeeper! More broth for our zero level friend!"

Skip: "This all started when I walked down the hallway so he could show me his wand…"

10-19-01 Steve: "With this group, you can't make a comment that's too cryptic."

Les: "It's not a skill, it's a feat, called "Cowardly Sprint." Steve: "Yeah, in a couple levels, he'll be able to get "Improved Cowardly Sprint."

Bob: "It's good to see Mack back, isn't it?" Steve: "Yeah, we were getting drastically low on caustic wit."

Don: "Maybe if we run away farther, it'll confuse them!"

Bob: "I wish I had more dice."

Doug: "I'm going onto the bridge, and putting my thing away…" Les: "You should have put your thing away before the battle commenced." Bob: "That's why he took so long to get there, he had his thing out." Doug: "Kord says, if you got it flaunt it."

Steve: "Jeez, in this game even when you're at home you gotta roll for every door."

Bob: "Decay fills the air..." Devin: "Does it smell?" Don: "No, it's the fresh smell of decay."

Don: "Maybe the stones are just made to look heavy." Steve: "Yeah, there might be a housekey under one of them."

Don: "What you're doing when you carry a torch is attracting evil." Steve: "And moths!"

Mac: "Are they grassy gnolls?"

Bob: "Steve, you're too far away to do anything, aren't you?" Steve: "I'd like to think so."

Devin: "12!" Bob: "That misses." Devin: "20!"

9-21-01 Bob: "You all will meet at the temple of Dumathoin... [to Skip] You know where that is." Steve: "Yeah, that's where he had his prom." 

Steve: "Back off, or the half-elf gets it."

Steve: "It's Orc-apalooza!"

8-17-01 Steve: "It's the Hextor Family Christmas!"
7-20-01 Tom: "You are slower than a rug??"

Tom: "It's a rapier of Rug Slaying! You don't see *that* very often."

Don, rolling an attack: "11!" Bob: "That'll miss." Don: "12?"

6-15-01 Steve: "That fungus that got me - was that the flat fungus, or the puffballs?"

Don, while looking for secret doors: "Hey! What's a keyhole doing in a wall?"

5-18-01 ...apparently no one said anything worth writing down this time.
4-21-01 Steve: "Honor, schmonor!"

Bob: "No instant critical!"

Steve: "I have survived flaming death - twice!"

Bob: "Well, you can *think* that..."

3-23-01 "WWHD?" ("What Would Hextor Do?")

Bob: "90, on a fumble?? You're close to 'decapitation country'!"

2-20-01 Doug: "Is the door right in front of us?"  Bob: "Yes, as far as you can tell, it hasn't moved." 


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built by unclefester | sternzwischen | updated 14-05-29 23:15:26